There is a place called Produce Junction. They sell the wholesale fruit, and I buy it, cheap. A case of 40 pounds of bananas costs $15 -- on occasion, $15.50. As I started losing enthusiasm for raw food, I opted to get through each day eating the minimum amount possible. But, as the religion states, one must always get enough calories. If you're tired, you're not getting enough calories (or water, or greens, or sleep, of course). Because I decided that a supreme level of fatigue could not be sleep-induced (I know that kind of tired, and I was sleeping) or greens (I'm already eating a lot of greens; if not a whole pound a day, more than my friends who are out and about boasting healthy amounts of energy). Note my unscientific guessing methods. I trust my intuition, dammit. Bananas, being the fairly calorie-dense fruits that they are and cheap to boot, became a staple of mine as I started to sink into sublime fatigue. It was like all the calories I was eating were leaving my body bloated and my neurons unable to fire. Lifting a finger or devoting any brain energy to anything at times seemed disturbingly difficult, let alone a 12 to 13-hour work day involving very little sitting and recuperating. I was starting to feel completely helpless. Walking into my kitchen one day wondering if I was going to cram some extra bananas into my face or just sleep off my fatigue that sleep doesn't even cure, I looked at the fruit. Spotty indicating "ready to eat," but at the same time, still greenish. Out of frustration, I froze the fruit, thinking that I wasn't going to eat these, but just in case I changed my mind or realized that something else was causing my fatigue, they'd be in the freezer.
A couple weeks later, no longer buying cases of bananas from the Junction, I was there for some other stuff and decided to get a couple 2-pound bags of them. Same deal, although not as creepy looking. I've been eating banana meals of them here and there and noticing some sporadic fatigue. To be honest, I can't say I've been as diligently keeping track of my intake and my energy. Hell, I've been eating cooked food and (gasp) salt, and feeling more bloated than I've felt in a WHILE. I hate food and would rather just take a pill every day and be healthy/energetic. Hellooo new species of eating disorder that evolves as each year passes.
Jump to yesterday when I make a late night banana and cacao smoothie with the frozen bananas in effort to have something cool and get [somewhat] artificially energized before a date. I ended up feeling fairly tired after eating it and definitely not caffeinated. I also felt super bloated. I woke up and immediately thought that the best smoothie to start my morning would be that same chocolatey frozen concoction, just totally putting out of my head the possibility of being poisoned (I'm dramatic) yet again. Truly unconquerable fatigue ensued. I missed my good friend's bridal shower.
As much as I can Google the topic, I cannot find any one statement that says "this weird type of banana is toxic to the body" or "fruit that ripens in this way produces x reaction in the body" etc. There are lots of people that run into this problem though and end up tossing their fruit away.
I really have rambled on and on about a goddamn banana situation, and it only has deserved this much of my time and energy due to how much time and energy it has zapped from my life. I'm finally crawling out of this remarkable fatigue and getting myself back to reality, which includes 1) throwing out the bananas for jesusfuckingchrist's sake and getting a great offer for a full time position with the home care agency I interviewed with. It would be easy to accept that offer. EASY. I'd make over 10k more than I'm making now and have to do considerably less work. Instead, I'm inquiring about working per diem with this company, details still unknown, in order to start a couple days a week with the chiropractic company. You know, the one that may make me a businesswoman of the wealthy sort. I like my spontaneity and ambition that has sprouted out of nowhere, even out of the cloud of rotten bananas and cooked food.
Til next time, blog.
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