As it stands, I'm pretty sure it's me talking to myself here. With previous blogs, I'd "advertise," making well-thought-out or not-so-much comments on other people's healthy living blogs with hopes that they'd click on over to me and give me lots of comments. It's all about the comments. Well, fuck comments. Something about just chillin here with my own thoughts is soothing to my psyche, and so I shall continue.

The raw thing is out the window. I mean I truly believe in raw foods, I really do. Everything Doug Graham has to say my brain buys 100%. It just MAKES. SENSE. I'll talk up raw foods to everyone, or at least I would when I was starting up. The reason my dinner tonight was a massive spinach salad with sweet peppers, lime juice, rice (gasp) beans (gasp) and brown rice tortillas (yeah, again) to make mini wraps as I went along? 1. I'm sick of stuffing my face all day with fruit until I've had enough calories for a football quarterback, and 2. I want to be not fat anymore. What can I say. I'm not down with being chubby in the name of raw foods. Oh, and 3. My energy and mood were just plain awful. I felt like I was moving slow as molasses.

I've begun, as I've recently learned, to eat McDougall style, per Dr. McDougall of The Starch Solution. Essentially, I still believe 80/10/10 is what's up. From all the research I've read on the effect of fat in our diet, I'm a believer that a very low fat diet is really the way to go, and excess fat will only do harm to us when consumed in excess. So, I've added on starchy vegetables and grains including rice, sweet potato, and beans. I'm leery of grains as well as  legumes, but in the last week or so I've pretty much thrown caution to the wind and have been eating them all. I can't not continue to research this topic, so that may evolve. Ultimately I would like to do a better job of avoiding salt as well as keeping an eye on how these foods affect me. So far since moving away from raw I've had acne sprouting up and have continued to have fairly low energy, feeling like I'm "undercarbed" from not eating the massive amount of calories my body's been used to. I'm trying to be consistent with the vitamins I know I don't get from my diet, so I hope the energy starts to be regulated soon. I'm not proud of my coffee drinking.

In the end, I worry about the energy and weight mostly. I just want to look and feel good, particularly because this new job thing is really getting out of hand in what I think is a good way. I may be spear-heading a start-a-physical-therapy-clinic-in-a-chiropractor's-office operation; it's something that if you told me about this two weeks ago I'd laugh and say GTFO. There is a LOT of potential in this venture, and here's the kicker -- I need to be awake to do it. More than awake. I need to be on my A-game. No more of this eyes glazing over/I want to go to my car to take a nap bullshit. I have to find out if consuming the mass amounts of calories thing is still at all applicable if I'm keeping 80/10/10 but adding cooked. I really couldn't say. Like I said, I felt that undercarbed feeling earlier today when eating a normal person's amount of calories. I wasn't letting myself go hungry. Who knows if it was iron, D, B12, or just not enough sleep.

Speaking of which, it's nearly 10pm and I'm going to try to do a good job of getting enough sleep in these coming weeks. I bought a very low dose of melatonin if needed, because I'd rather artificially (sort of) get knocked out if it means getting enough sleep than the alternative of not getting enough sleep and just wafting through the following day of work.

Goodnight, internet.