Saturday, August 4, 2012

Baby let's just go with it

I know when things feel right. 

Starting up my raw food bakery, though was right up my alley, wasn't right. I didn't have the money to pay for all the legal stuff and find a commercial kitchen space to rent. I didn't have the time away from my full time job to dedicate what was necessary to actually make it work. If I decided to quit my full time job as a PT, I certainly would not be able to make enough to pay for my credit cards, student loans, rent, and all the other real world elements that are working against me. When I do things like that, they have to be done perfect, I can't half-ass them, and I can't concentrate fully on them when I've got other things going on. Maybe I'll come back to Little Bites, but maybe not. 

This new job thing just sprang up out of nowhere. I've been unhappy with my current job for so long, but I haven't done anything about it. I let myself sink into a fairly depressed state, which overcomes my life in waves. In June, I requested a few days off in July. Thinking more and more about how much this job is not where I'm supposed to be, I requested a whole week off one week after that. I figured, I've got to set something up so, again, I can concentrate 100% on changing up the situation. Scheduling interviews during my work week is so conflicting in my mind. I cannot focus. It just so happened that leading up to and during that week off, I was so unbelievably fatigued, so much so that I had to stay in bed; there was no other option unless I forced myself to stumble about like a zombie. This was the banana fiasco as recently discussed, the mango fiasco only narrowly preceding. If I ever run into a date fiasco, I will have major, major problems. Anyhow, either the poor quality bananas or the possibly too-much-potassium situation was in full effect and I could barely function. Knowing that on my week off and that I had to get my hair cut now or never, I went to get my hair cut. I was nearly falling asleep in the chair, but not unconscious enough to bitch about my job! The very next day, I got a call from the hair salon owner's husband, who is the owner of the chiropractic practice I also mentioned recently. One thing leading to another, it looks as though I will truly be taking on the endeavor of starting up a practice within his clinic. Head therapist! 

This is the opportunity that I'm just going with because it feels right. When there's too much of a risk or I feel too out of my comfort zone, I just won't do it. With this, I'm just effortlessly taking the steps to get it done. I am putting in my two weeks' notice next week. When I'm not sure of something, the opinions of others weigh so heavily on my mind. Now, if I don't get an excited reaction from whomever I'm telling about my plans, I just let it bounce off me. Uncharacteristic, I think, but why question it? 

I used to say that it's not a question of if I win the lottery -- it's when. I'm spontaneous at odd times, and utterly conservative in my actions at others. Regardless, I follow my gut. In this case I think it might be life-changing. (happy-face!)

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